My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
