ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
