Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize