what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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