thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
