Pants 0. Shit 1.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
