What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
me + whiskey = a bad person
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
