On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
