You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
