Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
