I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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