You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My friends, they love my intelligence
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
