she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
