i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
