Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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