I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
