It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
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If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
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We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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