You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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