similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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