Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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