Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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