Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
No subtext here. People are naked.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
