He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
