So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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