I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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