OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
