sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
