don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
