Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She's not a foreskin expert like you
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
