similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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