Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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