he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
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Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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