It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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