They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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