How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
