Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
