I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
