My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
