My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Never underestimate the power of titties
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
