Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
