Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize