i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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