Whoa Z and x make the same sound
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
