You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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