I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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