babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
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I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
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Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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