My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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