Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
