i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
