how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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