He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
