I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
