it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
