The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
