how can u be prego again
4 words: hood of his car
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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