I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
