I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
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I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
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Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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