Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
