If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
