Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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