like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
