Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
