If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
