Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
