I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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