I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
