I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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