hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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