i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
