I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
